Just in time for Winter, sleet, and snow and not to mention all those aggressive drivers, my 17 year old gets his license. Due to the fact that we are but a one car family, we had to get another car. So this was how it all went down.

October 8th - At 8 am we join all the other young anxious drivers at the lineup for DMV drivers test. An hour of waiting puts my son in an extreme state of nervous chatter. He is laughing quite loud at his own humor. I laugh a nervous kind of laugh.

9:10 - a very serious woman comes to the passenger window and requests forms. We hand them over. She dismisses me to the corner on the street where all the other mothers wait in their work clothes looking uptight with deep lines on their forehead.

9:20 - My car pulls out, lady hands Jon a piece of paper. She gets out, smiles at me and walks over to next anxious teenager. I get in car. Jon, " I passed". I sigh very very deeply.

I drive him to school. After school his first question, "mom can I have the car, I need to go to the mall"? Me, "sighing heavily again yet not wanting to make him feel my fears. "Sure honey, just be care". I hold back because really, I have a list about 10 feet long of instructions, directions, alerts and rules that I'd like to impart on my eager teen.

He leaves. I am in my bedroom organizing (makes me feel in control when I have none). My friend Lisa calls and I notice it is dark out. I start to cry deeply and loudly, she being an expert by now, says "oh, don't cry". After we hang up I continue to sob, scared at this stage of my life. Terrified at the possibilities. I throw up.