Sunday, June 24, 2007


Being in the here and now.....

A dear friend and I spoke today about last nights lovely dinner, where we met up with two other friends, in Long Beach, New York. It was a stunning evening with a beautiful sunset (pictured above). After dinner we walked to the boardwalk and shared some reflective time together. My friend is befuddled by my consistent ability to stay centered on the here and now and not be easily seduced by thoughts of the past or a future that is unpredictable. It has not always been this way for me, for I was a compulsive thinker and pervasively distracted by thoughts that only caused me high anxiety. It is not a journey that is easily explained, the only way to speak of it, is to say that it has been a long and trying journey, one that was often conflicting and painful but also a self-reflective and eye opening one. When the mind is constantly talking, you are an active participant and that can be very exhausting. I have chosen to be an observer. My mind is no longer in control.

I told my friend that it has taken me a long time to surrender to that which I cannot control (which is most things). I live each day within that day, trying not to let my mind talk me into entering fear based projections. It is not an easy task and takes a lot of practice to redirect ones self into the present, but it does get easier. I do have future goals but they are on shelf until they need to be dealt with. I look at each day with a joyful embracing outlook because "it is what it is" and that is perfectly fine. I don't feel the need to control what is untangeable in any way. My husband lives in Pennsylvania, I am on Long Island where I need to be at this time. I see this as a time where it just has to be this way.

I know that there are things that must be done at this time and that is where I am at. To be in a constant state of wanting only leads to more wanting and wishing. Learning to surrender, and not needing to control the unforseeable allows for greater and deeper peace. It is this that I keep as my daily focus. Sometimes successfully, sometimes not......but "it is what it is".




14 comments:

Matty said...

Simply me,
I can imagine it must take a lot of practice to 'live in today' and not dwell on the past or future. Yes, it is crazy, over-whelming and absurd. I'm glad you arrived at a happy medium for you and your hubby. We would be a lot happier if we could live in the moment.
Wishing you much happiness!

simply me said...

Hi Matty - Everyday is work, practice and some growth. I have moments of not being grounded or here, but I work hard at putting it in its place. I have a lot more inner peace than I did 10 years ago. "The Power of NOW" by E. Tolhart has helped me rearrange my habits and my thinking.

Stay well Matty.

Betty said...

Dear Maria,

You do sound incredibly grounded, and I admire that. I also have really found inspiration from "The Power of NOW." Thanks for checking in on me recently- I was out of town and since returning I've been dealing with work and the child custody case. I did post some photos from my trip today.

Hugs,
Betty

Big Dave T said...

I've come to a similar conclusion lately. I used to have my life mapped out as completely as one of those triptiks that AAA does. But right now, I can't see that far down the road. So I might as well enjoy the scenery of where I'm at. Carpe diem, right?

simply me said...

"Seize the day" or as our friend Dave says Carpe Diem... That should be our motto...always
I am still working on it. But each day I congratulate myself when I can stay on the "here and Now". Its not always easy, life has a silly and at times warped way of challenging all of us.

Blessings all and a big Hug.

Lisa said...

Your post is beautiful. I'm sorry I had to miss spending time with all of you that evening...oh well, next time!

You've been doing an amazing job of handling everything that's going on in your life. But then again, you always handle everything with grace (except when you throw me out of your house--"Okay, I'm done! I have to go to bed! You guys have to leave!!")! Just kidding. Love you

simply me said...

Li - I love you. There is no one like you. I don't handle being tired gracefully lol.

simply me said...

Matty - Mistake on the author of power of Now its E. Tolle. My brain needed a tuning...lol Hope you and your family are doing well.

Mark said...

To live in the now and learn how to be the quiet observer is a very powerful and free way to live!

simply me said...

Hi Mark = How are you. Thank you for visiting again. I always appreciate your insight. Its not always easy but let me tell you I work really hard at staying centered and grateful.

Shelby said...

enjoyed reading your post and other parts of your blog.. so interesting.. take care and happy day :)

Paul said...

Has your friend done any reading in this area? Seeking the Heart of Wisdom by Kornfield and Goldstein and The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh were helpful to me.

simply me said...

Hi Paul, thanks for the book referrals. I am writing them down and would love to read them myself. I will also pass them on to my friend. One also has to desire to move in that direction.

thank you again.

Guilty Secret said...

Wow this post describes my daily struggle: how to just stop thinking so much.
Thanks,
GS