Friday, February 16, 2007

Of Chocolate and Friendship - "It is easy to love someone at their best, love, is being able to love them at their worse"

As I spent yet another Valentine's Day pondering if I should fore go the fact that I have recently felt like a stuffed sausage or indulge in purchasing my own valentines chocolates as a reward for being a half way decent (or as my son often states) annoying mom and a loving and supportive wife, I am left with no purchase and wondering why it is that I am buying my own chocolate. My husband is not a romantic fellow but can be guilted into small gifts such as my latest Nora Jones CD. My dearest son Jon being a most typical teenager, I don't believe has a moment ( and I mean it ) of thinking of anyone other than himself. He is a lovely, sweet boy who feels badly after the fact, but not for too long. I think if Buster my dog could make purchases I'd be drowning in chocolate, for truly no one loves me as much as my dog (even if my husband says its impossible for dogs to feel love).

Truth be told, my husband and I have made a pact (way after the new year, so that if we fail, its not another failed resolution), to lose the several pounds we have put on since our marriage. I am guilty of being an emotional eater, not just the sad emotions but all, including happiness, joy, sorrow, sickness and death. Food is the one thing I never give up, even with a stomach virus lurking. I am not considered fat by most, but naked, lets just say there are doubles of many things and I am not speaking of my breasts.

Women in their forties can be such compassionate friends to each other. My friend Lisa is honest, funny and never delusional about our bodies. As we are very honest about this bizarre and very annoying take over by fat. The other day as I stood getting ready for work I starred and found to my dismay the many doubles taking over but yet even a most alarming of my cheeks (not facial) appears to be drooping slightly lower than the other. What!!!! I ask myself, "the heck is that"? And now I am relieved that I decided against the lovely dark chocolate box. Lisa is truly understanding for she also shares my discoveries as we whisper to each other on the phone about our current findings. Whispering so, as if in doing so, no one but us will know this little secret.
Both of us disturbed, yet comforted by the fact that its happening to the two of us and we are not alone.

I dare say, that Valentines in my forties has taken a new look. Forget the gorgeous boxes of delicious chocolate varieties. Valentine's Day will be a time to reflect with good friends about how we use to be able to indulge in chocolate without any thought to bloating, drooping, or sagging and how one small delicious bite is better than eating the entire box. True I cannot promise that I am giving up chocolate for good, that would be ridiculous, really, but not getting that card board, red, heart shaped box will not devastate me.

So here I am in my forties, not so thin and maybe a little droopy, but I am many. Thank goodness.


Lisa said...

First of all, I love you. Second of all, I'm going to smack your husband (but you know I love him)! I guess he has a thing about animals...he was raised to not get attached to animals emotionally because he probably had to slaughter them or something. But dogs absolutely feel love, they even get depressed!! I'm telling you, my dog Daisy was the picture of health until my mom died. The dog didn't make it six months after that...she moped around the house, didn't want to play, etc...she was used to spending the whole day with my mom, and was so sad without her!

...anyway, I know Buster feels love. And you cracked me up w/the comment about him buying you candy!! How true!!!

Summer said...

Simply me..i promise to read your blog when i am back home, i am traveling now in Cairo-Egypt and i should be back next week...but thanks for coming by and leaving a nice comment on my blog...come again!